Brat!

Just look at this brat I live with, yes. He is a big brat and always likes to sit by me. He is a pest. This morning he knocked over the garbage can and tried to blame it on me! Yes. Can you believe it? Then my person did not think it was me, no because she knows I am Oscar and I am perfect, yes. She knew it was this little brat who knocked over the can, yes she did. Then he ran away with his little fluff butt showing and his puffy tail in the hair. He has such a 'tude, he does.

Just look at those eyes. They are bad. They are the eyes of someone guilty, and Thor is guilty 'cause he is a little brat. He is!

I am here. I am back. I am Oscar! Yes!

OK for all of my fans out there wondering just where I've been, I've told you that blogging takes a lot outta me. I enjoy tweeting because it is fun, but please stop all the pretty ladies trying to solicit me for human sex. I am a fixed male cat, yes. So there will be none of that.

And not to worry, I still look the same. And then this little brat had to get declawed, so now he can't fight at all! Ha ha ha! I'm sure you're thinking what a cute little kitty kat but he's a big brat, he is, yes.


Look how dumb he looks in that head thing! Ha ha ha! And when he tries to scratch, it is he who will sting. (I am trying to write a poem about it. Here's how it goes):

Poem (by me: Oscar)

Bratty Thor

There is this bratty kitten I know, yes.
His name is Thor.
Every morning, he whines at the door,
and I never have to guess
who is there because he's a bore.

Now that he's declawed,
He can't do a thing.
And whenever he tries to bite or scratch,
I just remind him who is King,
that it is me, Oscar, the King
of Cats. That is me.
And that is that.

Copyright by Oscar. Me. Yes.

Where am I? I'm Twittering, that's what!

ME!


If you people are all wondering what I've been up to, I've been Twittering the past month yes. I like it because blogging takes a lot outta me and Twittering is fun. Tweets are what the birds do, and I can do it too while I look at them from my patio yes.

Here you can see us on the patio. I don't know where I am, no, but those other kittens need to get off my seats, yes!

Baby Thor: Bratty Kitten!

Apollo thinks he runs the show, but no, it's me, Oscar, yes.

Those lazy cats, what do they do? Nothing, I tell you. They don't even blog or have Twitters, no!

Apollo And My Person.

Apollo likes to sit on my person's lap a lot. Yes he does. Sorry it's been awhile--blogging takes a lot outta me.

My Andy Warholish Exhibit. (A message from Oscar's Mom).

I thought I'd feature a bunch of pix courtesy of Apollo and my webcam. I can call this "Lapcat." I think it should be hung in a museum no? Everyone is the envy of my polka-dotted PJs. I just know it.

Apollo At The Computer.

Here he is taken by the webcam. What is he doing there? That is my seat, yes it is. Mine. Oscar. Me.

Him at My Deskspace.

I was trying to get online so I could blog but this one was in my deskspace yes. So I told him to move out of the way because I run the show and that this blog is about me. I am only showing you this picture out of evidence so you know he was bad.

He should not be sitting there, no. That spot is reserved for me, Oscar. Those blinds are open for me and only me yes.

I'm Back, Though I've Not Gone Far.

Cute little Kiwi here, isn't she just so cute? I'll bet that's what you are all thinking, yes. That this little kitty kat is so cute, but she can be a pain, yes.


I am here to warn you that she's not as innocent as she looks, no she's not. This morning I tried to bite her scruff but all she did was moan and groan and act like a big baby yes. I think it's important for cats to have a certain level of caturity, so they don't act like whiny kittens all the time, no.

I am very cature and I am not afraid of anything, no. Unless it's some weird person knocking on the door, then I run and hide, I do. But I only do it because I know if they saw me they'd be all intimidated because I am very mean, yes I am.


Here she is bigger, and she is trouble no doubt. I showed Kiwi who is boss, I did. And she knows it. She wants to be like me, she does. And I can't blame her. But don't be fooled like she's all cute and sweet, no. She likes to do lots of bad things like nip at my tail and whine and cry like a big baby girl cat. That's what she is: a whiny, tiny girl cat who does bad things. She's not good like me, no. She's bad. So just don't fall for her games, no.

Me and Him and My Thoughts on the Election...Again.

Sometimes when he is not being bad I let little Thor sit here I do. The reason I do is because I don't want a whiny cat on me, no. When I try to tell him no he gets all upset because he idolizes me he does, and the last thing he wants to hear is that he can't be by me yes. So sometimes when he is being good and not being a brat I let him sit near me I do.

I still think I should be the next President yes. President Oscar. The reason is because you already have that one guy with an O in his name who is running and my name has an O so why can't I run? Though if it's not going to be me for President I'd much rather it be the guy with the O because those with O's in their name are good yes. Not that other shrived up man, he's weird and I don't like him, I don't. He doesn't look like someone who would want to pet me no he doesn't.

And anyone who doesn't want to pet me is not worth my time, no they are not.

He's a Little Brat!

Yeah I'm sure all you stupid people are oogling over this kitten but don't be fooled no. He's a little brat, yes he is and he always likes to yank my tail. But I put him in his place real quick yes I do and I tell him who is boss, that it's me Oscar yes.

You dummies out there always fall for these faces, thinking they're so innocent when all they do is cause trouble and they're no good. I'm the only good cat out there, yes.

Sure I like some of the other cats I live with (not this bratty one, no) but they all know who is in charge, that it's me. Oscar. And I run the show.

So this kitten is a brat. Don't trust him. No. I'm the only one you can trust. Me. Oscar. Yes. Not Thor, this bratty kitten.

Me and the Shadow and a Poem!

Here is me and that Shadow cat and a poem by some poet named Stevie Smith yes.

Conviction (III)
The shadow was so black,
I thought it was a cat,
But once in to it
I knew it
No more black
Than a shadow's back.

Illusion is a freak
Of mind;
The cat's to seek.

By Stevie Smith

He Wants To Be Like Me!

Here you can see this little one wants to be like me yes he does because everyone does because I am Oscar yes. He tries to be near me and so I just let him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings yes.



This one too is always coming by yes he is and he wants to play but I don't know yet if I should because he looks funny to me like a spy. This only proves that everyone wants to be me because everyone loves me yes they do I am the best Oscar yes.

Those Kittens Are All Over!

Who do these kittens think they are that they can just come in and run the whole show? Just look HERE. One of them likes to pull and yank on my tail but I tell him it's not OK no it's not. The other one likes to wander like he can't see and then he just bumps into walls and then he keeps going or playing with the other one and they are always jumping all over yes.

I can't have these kittens jumping all over the place and causing all this ruckus no I can't. They need to learn that I am in charge yes I am and I am Oscar and I run the show yes I do. I am the biggest cat around and they need to learn that yes. They will learn that and they will be afraid of me because I am chubby and I am very mean yes I am Oscar.

Me and Shadow.

We were sleeping. I don't remember when my person took this picture. I was tired and Shadow was too. I am still tired. Blogging takes a lot out of me. Oscar.

Kiwi And ME--4 photos!

My person shot these pictures of me and Kiwi. You can see how much she likes being by me. I'm doing it just to be nice because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She needs me yes she does. She needs me because everyone needs me yes they do. She's so little she needs me to protect her. Yes she does. She needs Oscar to protect her. That's me. Oscar. Click on us and we get bigger.

Me and Shadow.

This is a cat I live with and his name is Shadow. Here we are playing. He always looks drugged up and here is no different. He's good for the most part and not bad like the other cat Kiwi is but Shadow just pretty much does what I tell him to do because he knows to.



He listens because I am Oscar and he knows to. The people I live with call him 'The Boy' because that's what he is. A boy. He is only a boy but I am a guy. That's what I am. Oscar. That's what Oscar is. A guy. Me. Oscar. A guy.

This is not me!

This is Kiwi, a cat I live with. She's always causing trouble and getting in the way. Sometimes she tries to steal the yogurt from me but I show her. HAHAHAHA





Here she is again. Being bad. Bad she is bad. Oscar is the good cat. Me. Good. I'm Oscar and I'm good. Kiwi = Bad.